January 16th
The last 2 weeks of this trip have been altogether brutal. Leadership issues. Infighting within the group. One angered voice, in particular, berating me for not selectng another one of her children for whom to pay school fees. Nevermind that I’m already sending one of the children in her care to boarding school and there are many members who are not so fortunate. This singular voice loudly proclaiming the injustice I’ve done to her.
How dare I try to undo the lopsided distribution of benefits to fairly benefit all members? How dare I not just hand over the money for them to dispense at will? “How dare I,” seems to be the murmurs that follow me as more requests, demands actually, are made of me.
With all of this, and so much more, escalating daily, I was ready to withdrawal. Simply say, “Farewell, sorry I couldn’t do more, goodbye.” One voice pleaded with me to be strong. Have courage. Another voice pleaded, “Think of the children.” I walked through the Quarter, resigned to the fact that I could no longer help, that my presece seemed to cause problems, too many problems. I should leave. As I walked, I was stopped by Kibwota Wilfred. While I’m in Uganda, he always seems to be lurking somewhere, partially hidden, watching me. One day earlier in this trip, we spent over an hour together playing toss and monkey in the middle with a red balloon until it finally burst into too many tiny pieces that the game ended abruptly.
On this day, Kibwota Wilfred greeted me and took me by the hand to show me the nursery garden he was helping his aunt to care for. One of the nursery gardens we had just built. He smiled with pride. This boy, this sweet boy who had been abducted by rebels at age 9, orphaned, and finally escaped his captors, is now in the care of his aunt. This boy stood by my side, smiling, holding my hand. How could I abandon him? How could I abandon all the other helpless innocents in the Quarter? How could I let a few people with bad hearts and evil words take away the little I had to offer? I couldn’t bear to simply say goodbye. I may only have little to offer, but that little is at least appreciated by some. By Wilfred, who held my hand.
